Vent

Ok...I HAVE to vent....since I can't vent about work, I'll just have to vent about trying to get pregnant. I am pretty much convinced that it didn't work this month either. I am so fucking tired of this. I have a husband who refuses to get checked out, if you know what I mean....and even if he would do it, we can't afford it now since his health plan is different. I refuse to get checked out until he gets a clean bill of health. It is easier to test a man's goods than a woman's and 40% of all infertility cases are due to male fertility. I KNOW he's afraid he'll find out something is wrong, but if it is, then we know. We can fix it or try a different route. I am so tired of doing this every month...month after month of playing stupid games, not being turned on or even excited about dragging Hubby to bed since I know that he's only doing it to try to make a baby. I know that sex is not his "love language" so I really shouldn't get TOO upset...I can't change him....but dammit, sometimes a girl wants to feel sexy and WANTED. I give up....I give up....I give up.
I had a bad day all around....woke up with a pissy attitude, then came to the reailization that I will probably never get to have children and that pissed me off. Work pisses me off on Tuesdays, and I made that pretty clear to everyone...then I bit someone's head off and then felt stupid the rest of the day. The syllabus still isn't posted for the class that started today, so I can't start any reading. This sucks....
Maybe I'll go downstairs and play Ratchet and Clank....I like shooting snails.....