tired

I'm tired of not knowing....if hubby will be employed at the start of 2005. tired of not knowing if we will ever have kids...and why it hasn't worked yet. I'm tired of being tired and feeling like there are not enought hours in the day. But most of all, I am tired of having every little plan and dream and goal I have for the future dashed and crashed and destroyed. I am suppoed to be in Florida this week...instead, hubby ended up in court, so we spent most of our trip money on the lawyer. Plus, we didn't know what the outcome would be...a fine, jail time or nothing at all. Not good time to book a trip. We talked about Vegas, but hubby decided that he didn't think I would have fun, and that we should save the money for Disney next year. SO, we were going to go to a hotel this week, or just have a for fun day, besides Christmas shopping. Then his boss drops a big old bomb. So, how have I spent MY well earned vacation: Worrying about hubby's job situation, today just waiting and waiting, and then crying. All I have learned in the last 2 years is that making plans and goals is (are?) for idiots, because you're just gonna get fucked in the end.
I just wanted a fucking vacation where I could relax, get ready for the holidays and spend time with my husband. Instead I get this. Hmmm...and they wonder why my side of the family ends up depressed......