Dreams, Pt. 2

Ok, so I just realized that Hubby puts the "anal" in "analytical"... but anyway.....
So these weird dreams about Dragon and the neighbors house. Dragon is Hubby's best friend. Dragon and I dated about 15 years ago. Dragon is the person who played matchmaker to get Hubby and I together. We like Dragon :) Dragon and I have a different kind of friendship...he's my big brother, but...well, I don't know how to explain the other part of our friendship. I guess it's like this....if I need a compliment, I know he'll give me one, make me blush and make me feel special. If I need to vent or cry (esp. is Hubby is being an ass), he's there. He's a dirty old man, and I like that about him.....but only online. Things are different in person. Yes, this is important, and no, I'm not having an emotional affair or cheating on Hubby or anything....
Ok, back to the dreams....I have had dreams about Dragon for years. A few months back, I dreamt that I was sitting on a bathroom floor, crying with my head on the toilet. Someone was rubbing my back, trying to comfort me. I turned around and it was Dragon. He kept saying everything was ok, and asked if I wanted water or a hug or anything. Then he started stroking my cheek, and he started to kiss me. I backed off and told him I didn't think that was ok and he needed to stop. He said, "but you liked it. Don't you feel better now?" I got angry and yelled at him, "So the second Hubby is out of the picture you move in. You think I have just forgotten about him? When he gets out of jail, I am telling him everything!" I was going to get in the hot tub, but Dragon wouldn't leave. Besides, I was babysitting the neighbor kids, so I went out to the couch to wait for them. Instead of the neighbors coming home, Hubby came instead. I didn't tell him about Dragon because I woke up. I remember FEELING the kiss and touch when I woke up, and that I was SO angry at Dragon for even trying anything behind Hubby's back.
Then 2 nights ago, I dremt I was housesitting for the neighbor's (meaning the people that live next door to my parents. I babysat the kids while they grew up, and I did some housesitting, so I am pretty familiar with their house), and was in the kitchen. Then I realized someone was touching my hand. You know when you hold someone's hand, and you kind of sneak your fingers in, one at a time, to kind of caress the fingers? Well, that's what was happening. I thought it was Hubby, but the fingers didn't feel right....it was Dragon! I ran to the basement and he ran the back door, where Hubby was just coming in.
I know it's not unusual to dream about your ex, but it's been a LONG time since we dated....and he's my husband's best friend! Why don't I dream about Hubby like that? All my Hubby dreams involve fooling around, but not getting anywhere.....
Well, any dream analyzers out there?? Oh! And I dream about work, and it's either that the center is closed for the day, but the kids won't go home, or it's naptime and the kids stage a coup and refuse to sleep. I still have vivid memories of the dream where one of the kids wheeled the VCR out into the middle of the room and started chanting, "NO NAP! NO NAP!" and turned on the lights and a movie. Thank God that doesn't happen in real life!!!!

Dreams....

Anyone know anything about dream analysis (isn't it funny...I remember how to spell "analysis" because Hubby told me once that his ex said he put the "anal" in "analysis" :) )? I am waiting for class to start, so let's chat about some of reoccuring dream topics.
First, I used to have these dreams about high school....not being able to find my locker, or finding my locker but not knowing the combination, or not knowing my schedule, and then when I go to the office they tell me I can't get my schedule (or combination or whatever) because I'm not a student or I don't have ID (Which is in my locker...). Weirdest part about the school is that the stairwells are not complete...they are usually missing the lower half, and no one seems affected at all, just me. I went back to the school for a 50th anninversary of the school this past October and walked those stairwells...still intact :) and found all my old lockers. I haven't had any creepy High school dreams since....
Now if I could just get rid of the dreams about Dragon and my neighbor's house....time for class though!!!

It's Sunday again.....

Well, ummm....I don't really have anything to say, I just feel as though I should update....
I started reading The Shelter of Each Other: Rebuilding Our Families by Mary Pipher, Ph.D. for my book review. It's pretty good so far. I'm kind of hoping to get it read and written sooner than later. Some of these up coming weeks have 5 or 6 chapters assigned for reading....and these books are SO very dry. I am TRYING to keep an open mind, that they will get better now that we are past the introductions. I started the first part of the family case study last night, while Hubby played Gran Turismo 4 (what a fun game! I love watching Hubby play video games for some reason....cuddled on the couch with him and the cat....). I realized that although my mom's family is closer in proximity, we are emotionally closer to my dad's side of the family. I wonder if the fact that my dad's family had to stay together and support each other after his dad left, while my mom's family was divided between my mom and her brother, and her step-mom and the half-siblings. One thing I have to write about is a "big crisis" that occured in the family...how the family worked before, during, and after the event. All I can think of was when my dad lost his job....but I was away at school. All I know is that I left in the fall, came home to unemployed dad at Thanksgiving, and by Easter, my mom was working two jobs and my dad was in school. For me, though, not much changed...I went to school, I worked on breaks....Then that spring my dad got the job at the golf course, and that fall at the sign shop. As far as I was effected, nothing changed. I'll have to talk with my sister, see if she has any insight, since she was still at home during that time. Or I could ask my mom, but I'm afraid she'll bring up that horrible summer with Darth Vader, and I don't really want to re-live all that. I feel like I could write more about the crisises that Hubby and I have had....they definatly would fit the resiliance model! But, I suppose, we are still "young" in the grand scheme of "family."
Blah....babbling right now. Sorry....I've had a headache off and on since last week, Tuesday I think. I slept most of today....got up around 11am. Hubby and I ran to Target around noon. Came home, had lunch, then I read my book for a while. Rory has a thing for books and insists on laying on them, while they are being read. Eventually I gave up trying to hold the book over him and trying to hold it steady when he'd get up to turn around (and around and around). I put the book down and napped. Figured Hubby would wake me up when he came up....nope. He played GT4 all afternoon!!! He never does that! I was impressed :) He did take a couple of pictures of us, although when Rory senses a camera, he perks up to show off :) But, I think we napped for about 3 hours, give or take. I had to get up with the cat fountain started gurgling.
Well, cats want food, laundry needs to be attended to and I need to go to sleep...again :)

A little whine..?

Ok, I NEED to get back to my reading, so I will make this just a short little rant.......
Why do I get interrupted and ignored? Am I THAT boring or is my husband just an ass?
It doesn't seem to matter WHAT I have to say, important or not, one of two things happens:
1) He doesn't listen to me and I have to repeat what I just said, or
2) He interrupts and/or responds with something unrelated...usually about what's on TV or at the cat.
I've mentioned this to him more than once, that it makes me feel sad and undervalued or whatever, but to no avail. So, I just stopped talking. I don't think I've said much to him all night. Even if I wait for a commercial....
And my sister has started doing this too....I guess I am just self-centered and boring.
Hmmmm.....wonder why our family has a history of depression......we tend to surround ourselves with people that make us feel like crap.......
Back to homework....yippee....
Well shit...Good Eats is on......I love that show.....but I have 3 chapters to read.......so tired....want to sleep (that's one reason I'm so touchy and sensitive.....I'm very tired and that tends to make me cranky. I'll love Hubby again tomorrow :) )
No really...I have to go study Freud's genogram...I dislike Freud......grrrr.....

Holy Syllabus, Batman!

Ok, I start a new class tomorrow, on Families. We had a week off and I was really hoping she'd post the syllabus before the weekend. The books look scary, so I wanted to get started. Well, let's just say it was a good thing I put 2+ hours into my wedding book tonight because I don't know when I'll get another chance, for at least the next 7 weeks!! 3 chapters in one book, 2 in the other....BB due 8pm Thursday..that will be tough for me, but we'll get it done. And we have to do a book report!! Luckily, the library has 12 copies of the one I was looking for. It looks good. I can't wait to read it...and review it before March 21! I just have to take GOOD notes, since I can't write in a library book.
I guess the assignment that scares me the most is the Family Case study... on my family. Actually, it will be good....Mom and I can have a girls day and talk about all the bits and pieces of our family life. I guess I've always taken it for granted, so I neglected to pay attention to things I maybe should have, and apparently I'm self-centered, so I miss a lot of things. But, at least the first page of the assignment looks easy....describe your family. Piece of cake :)
Speaking of cake....time for those Oreos I didn't get last night, and then maybe a little "for fun" reading, since I'll probably have to read homework on my lunch break in order to get it all done in time.....
So, if you don't hear from me for a while it's just because I'm buried under two hardcover Family texts!!!!

no subject

Ok, just for giggles, I read random blogs. Just kept hitting "next blog" wondering how long it would take to stumble on mine. I never did hit mine, but I did hit 3 or 4 twice. How weird is that? It's amazing how many blogs are in spanish or in various asian languages. Then there are the ones that seem to be in some kind of gibberish, but I'm sure it's really a foreign language of some sort.
Well, not that anyone cares, but looks like Hubby and I are on to another month of TTC. I think....I feel like we are on to a new cycle, but I haven't checked in a while (how's that for being vague :) ). Hubby said he'd be willing to try "Super vitamins" to help his swimmers....so tomorrow I'm heading to Super Target for a few grocery items and some vitamins. I have the One-A-Day for women that I haven't been taking, but if I'm gonna make Hubby take several vitamins, I guess I should start taking mine again too.
Well, the alarm's going off at 5am (so I can hit the snooze and piss Hubby off for 45 minutes!) so I really should go to bed. I really want some oreos though.....what do I do? Oreos it is! Then bed :)

look! cute little kittens!

look! cute little kittens! blogjam random kitten generator
When I need a cuteness fix, I go here. Some of the kittens are scary looking, but for the most part, they are uber cute. Makes me want a house full of kitties :)

BOINK?!?

LOL....My blog came up in a websearch for "boink"! That makes me laugh :)
We got about 3-4inches of snow last night. Yeah :) Even though it's February, I still am happy to see snow...maybe because we haven't had much this winter.
Been married almost 6 years, but I started working on our wedding scrapbook last night. Hubby has taken over the basement to watch the Daytona 500, so I don't know if I'll get back down there to work today or not.
Speaking of the Daytona 500, I will state here, for the world to see, that SOMEDAY I will get Hubby tickets to the Daytona 500, and we will go for the whole weekend...see racecars, see drivers, and maybe get a little bit of a sunburn in February :) We are talking about going to Disney next year to celebrate me finishing grad school (my last class is Feb 6, 2006. My Capstone should be in by then too, but I have until April or something...scheduling a trip would motivate me to get that paper in on time!)...but I was thinking last week that maybe we could each take more than a week (like 8 days instead of 5) of vacation days and START the trip in Daytona for the races, and then head to Orlando and Mickey. Let's plan here, just for giggles :)

• fly into Orlando on Thurday before the race, drive to Daytona. Stay in a hotel with a shuttle to the track.
• Friday at the beach. Qualifing races are this day, I think?
• Saturday...Busch race (I think!)
• Sunday...Daytona 500
• Monday, drive to Disney. Check into Disney resort.
• Tuesday: Magic Kingdom
• Wednesday: Epcot
• Thursday: Disney-MGM Studios
• Friday: Animal Kingdom
• Saturday, fly home...start laundry, etc

I bet that would cost a million, billion dollars though. Maybe just a long weekend (Wednesday-Monday) in Daytona one year, then do Disney another year. *sigh* We just have to get those credit cards paid off....

Sunny is walking around the house meowing....she's usually pretty quiet. It's cute :) She wanted to go out in the snow this morning. She loves the snow!! She ran out the front door and went right to the edge of the sidewalk to dig in the snow :) She wanted to go in the back, on the patio, but it wasn't shoveled and I wasn't about to chase her through the snow in the backyard. She's so cute :)

150 views!

WOW! Last time I checked my counter, I was at about 120-ish hits. I checked tonight...150!!! Holy cow!!! I checked a few little stats and discovered that I have readers from all over....and some how popped up on search engines for "crampies." What else can I get "hit on" with? Plethera? Fish Ich? Boink? :) I'm silly :)
I am...something...this week. I have been short tempered, especially with the kids. I am just cranky and critical and just a bitch. Right now I just want to chuck the laptop at Hubby....just for exsisting!!! Probably PMS, which would suck.
Have I mentioned that we have been trying to conceive baby #1 since September of 2002? Off and on....life has gotten in the way from time to time, but even still I have lost count of exactly how many months out of the last 29 we have actively tried. Maybe 18? Now Hubby's insurance has changed (currently covered by COBRA, but in a few months he'll be on a new plan), and it's pretty much a debit/reimbursment plan, so getting any "boy tests" done is pretty much out of the question unless we budget for it (he also takes advair, and that runs about $165 every two months, so he'll need to deposit that into his health savings account each month so he can get his meds). For some reason, this "infertility" (I refuse to call myself or Hubby "infertile") has really bothered me this week more than other weeks in the past. The Russian (who has been bugging the hell out of me lately) brought in an hearbal health catalog yesterday so I could look at it and read about all the people that started taking their product and got pregnant. Yeah, if I wanted to try that I would have done it years ago! Then, another co-worker (I can't think of a good nickname...) said, conversationaly, "So you heard that Lazy is pregnant, right?" Ummm...no, and it's not her place to tell everyone the news...especially since she ("Lazy") had a miscarriage in October. She may not want people knowing yet.
On top of all this baby stuff, The co-worker without a nickname revealed yesterday that she is retiring in June. AND, our assistant is retiring this spring as well. I was going to ask about applying for the assistant job, but was waiting to hear the "official" resignation news to ask about it (rather than saying that I heard it through the grapevine, which our director frowns upon)...well, she has already started interviewing people for the position!! Why would you not tell your staff so they can apply....wouldn't you want to hire from within? I'm just bitter about something I never even had a chance at.....even though I was thinking that if I am going to be doing all the assessment stuff for the whole center, I really should be in the classroom to use it. I would miss being with the children and would go stir crazy be used and abused by the director.
Oh, did I tell you I'm presenting an inservice on assessment for the staff...and then developing an assessment tool for each classroom?! I made one for our room...we haven't used it but will next month for our Spring conferences. I am excited, and PLAN on getting paid for the work!! Hopefully I can get out of the classroom now and then in May and June to work on this....I'll just have to know in advance so I could bring in the computer, since my LIFE is on this thing.
Well, I think it's time to get some ice cream and check on the dryer.

what th'..?

Get this.....
I take a nap this afternoon...I was getting a headache and I just really wanted to listen to the rain on the roof. I get up a few hours later, and Dragon is still here. He asks how I am I tell him I have a cold and will keep my germs to myself. Hubby says, "You have a cold?" Me: "Yeah. Have you missed all my snotty kleenexes around here?" Hubby: "I guess so."
What the hell?!?! I've been snorting for the last two days and he's been teasing me about it. I've been coughing, sneezing and carrying a box of kleenex every where I go....just a habit? No....I'VE GOT A COLD!!!!
And it's almost 7pm...Dragon's been here since 4. I want to eat dinner......need to talk about groceries.....time to tell your friend to go home now, dear......
Grrrrrrrrr............

Snotty Saturday

Ugh...kids gave me a cold. Three days of sore throat, now Day 1 of the stuffy, yet runny nose. Blech. Today was the left nostril. Past experience says tomorrow will be the right, followed by a few days of both before this cold runs its course. So, I'm drinking lots of water, washing the bottle every night, washing my hands lots, blowing and/or wiping my nose lots....and apparently NOT going to bed early. Oops!
Yesterday, my sister and I found our way from St. Paul to Roseville to see Hubby's new store. That was an adventure :) We only got a little lost, but I know I could find it again, without getting lost, if I needed to. His new store is nice, although the overwhelming smell of incense was a bit much for me. The weirdest thing is...I dreamed about his mall one night. I've only been there once, about 5 or 6 years ago, and we were really only in the Old Country Buffet at the one end. In my dream, I was supposed to meet some friends at the JoAnn's there, but when I got there, it was closing. Everything was one clearance, and the shelves were pretty bare. One section, the candles, was almost dark, but still full of product. I was looking for some candles, but kept getting stuck in all the clutter (clutter in an empty store? That's a dream for ya!). I think I woke up around then. So, when we went there yesterday, we were walking down the hall, looking for Hubby's store. All of a sudden I saw the JoAnn's and said, "Whoa! I had a dream about this mall...and that store!" That kind of weirded me out!
We left there around 4:40pm and headed back home, making a stop at my sister's work to check her schedule for the weekend. We did a little browsing, but didn't buy anything. Came home, made Taco Bell Enchiritos -- not very good -- then watched Mulan 2. After that, we played 4 games of Disney Scene It. That was fun! At one point, we were laughing so hard we were crying!!! We each answered an "All Play" question at the same time, so we needed to play a tie breaker. First tie breaker: The one with the longest hair wins. We have the same length hair. Next: The shortest one wins. Now we're really laughing, because we are the same height! Last one: best 2 out of 3 thumb wrestling wins. We were laughing SO hard, we couldn't even do it!! Once we got calmed down, we just replayed an "All Play" and I think she won....I don't remember! But, we each one two games and deemed ourselves "equal at this game." We'll have to play again soon :) It's funny....my SIL keeps giving me these games, hoping to get invited over for a game night. My sister and I just play spur of the moment, so we don't think about inviting her. Well, last night, my sister pointed out that SIL would have been pretty uncomfortable because we were so silly and sort of "inside jokey." That's us!!
Hubby and I finally made those molten chocolate cakes that he got me for Christmas (it was a Williams-Sonoma kit). The plan was to only make half, but I was dumb and forgot to halve the water. So we made the whole thing. They were ok. I'll probably leave the last 5 for Hubby. I think I just like dessert better when someone else makes it :)
Well, I suppose I should go check on the laundry and think about getting to bed...it is midnight after all.

TGIF (almost)

Wow...what a day....
Work was pretty good. The Russian is starting to get to me (again), but ehh...such is life. Then, the phone rings in the classroom and it's the friend I was suppoed to have dinner with tonight. Bailed on me again. Not sure what to do with that, but don't know if I should discuss it here...well, left work on time (OH! It was pajama day, so I was in my jammies...this is important). Go out to the car, doors won't open.."Shit! I left my lights on!" Totally said that outloud, in a church parking lot! So, went inside, tracked down a friend with jumper cables (will be getting a set for my car soon!!) and we then proceeded to try to figure out which terminal was the positive one on her battery. 15 minutes and 3 helpers later (Thanks John or Jon!) my car started...WHOO-HOOO! But, then I had to reprogram all my radio stations. That sucked! Drove home, Hubby wasn't home, so I called my dad to ask about the battery. Since I wasn't sure if we still had the charger here at the house, so I brought it to my parent's to have Dad charge it.....an hour and a half later, it was done and I was home again. Hubby and I went out for Valentine's tonight, since I have class Monday. That was yummy!!! 9:15...finally home for the night :) Had to post for class, still haven't finished my readings for the week....and I think I'm getting a cold. Blah.
Well, I think I have at least one loyal reader here. Sorry, Loyal Reader...this has become a pretty boring blog. I've just been so.....Blah lately. I need to get to the library to get new books...I was going to go tomorrow, but now I'm going to pick my sister up in St. Paul. Thank God I don't have to drive to WI. But it sort of puts a crimp in getting my house straightened up, my school work done....ehh...Maybe I can convince Sister to play tomorrow night, not just sit on our butts watching TV. Maybe some Mancala or Monopoly (Mickey Mouse, PowerPuff Girls, or Original :) ) So anyway, Loyal Reader, what would you like to me to write about? Laundry? My job? Furturma and the Simpons? I'm totally open to suggestions :)

Rock on Weather Pixie!

I just love my Weather Pixie...she's all bundled up against the cold, just like I was today!! I don't like when the sun is all shiny, but it's bitter cold...so sneaky :)
Ok, so anyways....The conference was fine. I met Dan Gartrell, the author of "The Power of Guidance." I loved that book, and hearing him speak just reminded me that I CAN be a good teacher...I have just let that slide for a while....But, otherwise, Saturday was not so good....boring. The Keynote speaker was good, but it was all about Jesus. Well Duh, I work for a Lutheran church! I have some...reservations about religion, particularly Christianity. I KNOW that there is a God...there is no way that the Earth and all on it just showed up one day, and there is no way that I can be "running" my life all by myself. Even if things don't go well or as planned, I know that Something must be in control. BUT, I have an issue with the whole Jesus as a Savior thing. I can accept that him as a prophet and a very learned Jew, but I don't know about the rest. I don't mind at all telling the children about God, but I am uncomfortable talking about Jesus..so I don't that much. Sitting in this sanctuary and all the people are reading as part of the morning worship...all I could think was "chant" because that's how it felt...chanting propoganda. Needless to say, Hubby and I do not attend church. Actually, we don't "do" Easter, but we do celebrate Christmas. I guess if anything, I'd be leaning towards Judiasm...I like the tradition, that there is a reason. It seems like many Christian tradtions were developed to suck people in to the religion (transforming a "pagan" ritual into a holiday, for example), while Jewish tradtions seem to be based more on the life at the time...Kosher laws were first made because of food safety, other rules were developed to set the Jewish people apart from the others...
Ok...I kind of got off on a tangent...sorry....
Hubby and I went to the MOA on Saturday evening...HOLY COW! That was a zoo! I don't know if the Light Rail brought in all the "riff raff" or what, but it was BAD. We left after an hour and a half. I don't care what color, race, gender, whatever you are...don't just stand around the Mall in big clumps doing nothing! You can be there if you want, but gee whiz...do you have to just loiter? Walk, window shop, park in the food court or Camp Snoopy....but DON'T clog up the walkways and intersections! FRICK! And the most confusing part was all the kids running around...and the Mall has a rule that you MUST be with an adult after 6pm Friday and Saturday is you are under the age of 16. 2 girls, maybe 13 and 14 walked in right in front of us. A Security guard was holding the door open. She nodded to them but didn't card them or ask them if they were with us or going to a movie or whatever. Ugh...we should have just left right away.
We also watched "Anchorman" that night...that was not so good. So, all in all Saturday was a waste. Sunday was catch up day...now I should be working on my paper due Wednesday, or maybe reading the rest of my readings for class...but I think I'm going to work on some house stuff first....Nope....gotta fill the cat fountain. Tigger just drank the water until it got low, and it scared her :) She's so cute :)

Virtual Friday

Today was our last day this week, at least with the kids. We have our annual ELEA conference. Two days in a freezing church. One year, the church we were at was actually heated..I wrote on my comment sheet that it was the BEST conference ever :) I am excited about a couple of my seminars, but for the most part, they are wasted days. But at least I get overtime :) I'll have to write about them on Saturday or Sunday.
I started FLYlady.net this weekend. Doing pretty well so far..I'm pretty proud of myself :)
And I love my Weather Pixie. Isn't she cute :)